Chronicler: Julie

Episode Synopsis

The second clue arrives exactly when the Joker promised that it would. The group quickly deduces that it describes the Pittsburgh Zoo and Aquarium. Everyone piles into Darrek’s Rav and he skillfully speeds through Oakland, Shadyside, and East Liberty and into Highland Park.

After paying for admission at the front gate, the group finds their way to a special dinosaur exhibit and splits up. There are families with children everywhere. Mack sees the Bishop of the Pittsburgh Diocese tied behind the massive legs of a T-Rex.

The crowd suddenly erupts into panic as four cheetahs race towards the direction of the T-Rex. Mack pulls out his gun and expertly drops all four of them without injuring any innocent bystanders.

Demonic-looking clowns begin to close in on the group, clearly the Joker’s henchmen. Hilda vaults onto a Stegosaurus and taunts them. Henry covertly casts a spell and freezes one of them. Darrek blasts two of the clowns with Soulfire, including the one Henry is holding, who screams.

Henry commands his air elemental to retrieve the Bishop and get him to safety. He then casts another spell. The ground underneath the clowns erupts violently and they go flying.
Matthew pulls out his sword and runs full tilt into the fray.

One of the clowns closes on Yun-Xun. Darrek throws a blast of Soulfire at it from behind, smoking it. It falls on its face at Yun-Xun’s feet.

After all of the clowns have been dealt with, the group goes to the Highland Park reservoir just up the road to regroup and await their next clue. Darrek feeds the ducks. Yun-Xun pulls out some paints she snagged from the Zoo festivities and paints Henry’s face like a Chinese dragon.

The next clue arrives, pointing to the Andy Warhol museum. The group all piles into Darrek’s Rav and heads to the North Shore. There is a black tie event at the museum. Matthew and Darrek are wearing suits, but Yun-Xun, Henry, Hilda, and Mack do not have time to change, and the guard refuses them entry. Darrek proceeds to convince him using his magics. Entering the building and racing up the many stairs to the time capsule exhibit, Hilda can sense vampires.

Yun-Xun pulls the fire alarm to begin the evacuation of the crowd and minimize casualities. Two vampires drag the county executive into the room. Mack pulls out his Desert Eagle and dusts both of them. Yun-Xun then grabs the county executive. Matthew pulls out his sword and decapitates two vampires. Several more close on him. Hilda dusts another two. Yun-Xun defends herself against vampire attacks using her Chi abilities and resembles Neo from ‘The Matrix.’ Henry throws a spell at the vampires attacking Matthew which manifests as a glitter bomb. Darrek follows this up with a wave of Soulfire and all four crumble to dust.

After getting the county executive to safety, the final clue arrives…and the group realizes in horror it describes the Hive Arcana. Running to the car, Darrek calls Anita and warns her.

The group arrives at the Hive. Unusually, Darrek is able to find a parking space out front, pulling in behind Anita’s car. They rush inside, and everything is normal, and fairly quiet. Darrek and Henry run downstairs to check the library. Henry is shocked to see that the shelves are bare. Darrek does not seem surprised by this, and gets lost in his thoughts.

Dana runs downstairs a few minutes later and says, “He’s here. He’s outside.” Darrek and Henry follow her upstairs. Just outside the Hive, standing on the sidewalk, flanked by Carrie and Kay wearing their harlequin outfits, is the Joker. Looking up, the group can see parade-style balloons filling the skies of Oakland overhead.

“Hi…” he says.

He commends the group on saving three of the four aces, and then he grins. “Did I mention that I lied about the fourth?” He comments that he will see the group soon, referencing, ‘opening night,’ and laughs, saying, “And you’re not going to kill me…you’re going to let me go.”

Then he says, “Girls,” and Carrie and Kay pull out detonators and press them. The balloons overhead explode and shards of glass rain down over Oakland. Henry quickly casts a spell to try and minimize the falling glass surrounding the student dormitories. Screams echo down the streets, followed by the sounds of hysterical laughter.

Henry goes to spend the night at Matthew’s. The next morning when he arrives home, he finds Darrek and Emily having a lazy morning together, still in their pajamas and robes. Darrek is making breakfast. Curling up on the couch with Emily, Henry sees on the news that there was a massive explosion at the police station last evening, and a dozen officers, including the chief of police, were killed. Across the city, shards of glass and needles rained down from the sky, infecting thousands of people with Joker toxin. Most died.

Memorable Quotes and Great Moments

After saving the Mayor, the group gives him money to rent a bicycle to find his way home as they race to the next clue.

“They don’t have dinosaurs at Chuck E. Cheese.”-Darrek
“They should.”-Henry

“The ‘nothing happened here’ Tiananmen Square Festival?”-Mike D.

“Darrek, if we have time, after…can I get my face painted? I wanna be a LIZARD!”-Henry

“Is it Zoo Brew?”-Mack
“No, it’s Family Fun Night. So try not to shoot any children, okay?”-Yun-Xun

Re: paying for admission to the Zoo for the group
“Sure, I’ll pay…I’m just going to expense it to Anita, anyhow!”-Matthew

“I have an idea.”-Henry
“Care to share?”-Darrek
“You’ll see.”-Henry
Mutters under his breath “Oh, bloody Hell…”-Darrek

To Jason “Oh God, that’s Terra Primate.”-Robert

“Your Joker is pussy. Prove me wrong!”-Hilda

“Hey, Hilda! They’re coming your way!”-Mack

Re: the next clue
“Randyland?”-Robert

Re: the guard
“We don’t have time for this crap tonight!”-Darrek

“Darrek is like Honey Badger, because he just don’t care, and Henry is Sweet Brown.”-Robert
“I’m gunna grab myself a cold pop!”-Mike D.
“Ain’t nobody got time for that!”-Robert

“We can..definitely…go back…to the Zoo…sometime…if you want…”-Darrek, to Henry, as they’re racing up the stairs at the Warhol to the time capsule exhibit.

“You go Matthew, you go!”-Mack

“I’m the Slayer, bitches!”-Hilda